90 and 1 to grow on…

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

This time last night, Robert and I were guests at an amazing birthday party.  Yesterday was, in fact, Robert’s grandmother’s 90th birthday.  It was quite the event.  It was not a huge party.  It was not a black tie party.  But it was a fabulous party.

Grandmama was joined by her best friend and surrounded by her family.  As I talked with Grandmama and her friend before dinner I thought about what all these women have seen in their 90 years.  Plenty of bad, lots of good.  Pain and joy, happy and sad.  I am sure their experiences run the gamut of human emotion.

I am happy to report that there was nothing but love and happiness as we gathered to celebrate Grandmama’s monumental birthday.  If I am lucky enough to make it to 90, I will be sitting with my best friend surrounded by my family to celebrate.  It sounds pretty good to me!

another year gone…

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

I haven’t written anything in a while.  Sorry about that.  We were so busy moving and then I realized that I didn’t have anything I wanted to write about.  Guess the muse has returned.  Here goes….

Today is my birthday.  My 34th birthday to be exact.  Some people would rather have a root canal than reveal their real age but I couldn’t care less.  It has never bothered me and I’m guessing that it never will.  Truth is, I don’t feel much different than I did at 24 (except for the 3 little girls in tow of course!).  Maybe a little calmer.  A little more tired.  A tiny bit wiser.  But altogether not that different.  I still get carded buying alcohol.  A few months before we left Auburn I was in the Kroger buying some beer for Robert.  The cashier gave me a look like “I know what fake IDs look like and you’re not getting past me.”  After carefully examining my license she turned red, apologized and called me “Ma’am.”  But I digress…

Among all the birthday wishes, several people have asked if I’m doing anything exciting to celebrate.  I’m really not.  Robert is bringing home some steaks to grill, I made a chocolate souffle for dessert and there is a new episode of The Office coming on TV.  Sounds like the perfect evening to me.  I love getting dressed up and going out for a fancy dinner but in all honesty, that’s not a requirement for me to enjoy my birthday.  I would rather have pictures drawn by my children and extra hugs and kisses.  I have one friend who was determined to have 24 hours away from her children for her birthday.  She was so stressed out and exhausted from planning, packing and organizing that she didn’t get to fully enjoy her 24 hours.  I have another friend who checked into a swanky hotel overnight.  Unfortunately she overindulged at the mini bar and suffered the rest of the weekend.  Guess their plans didn’t turn out exactly right!  Not that I wouldn’t enjoy some time away, it’s just not necessary in order to have a successful birthday.  I’m not one of those people who is going to sit on the sofa and eat bonbons for my birthday or Mother’s Day and refuse to lift a finger.  (I don’t even know anyone who really eats bonbons on the chaise but it is the expression that came to mind!)  Life continues whether you like it or not!

Having just moved to a new state, Robert and I are still finding our way around.  We are on the lookout for a good babysitter so that when we have the chance we can go out to dinner and maybe even a movie.  We’ll sit a little closer and talk a little softer and smile a lot more.  The topic of conversation will wander and dance and eventually return to our children as it always does.  We will come back home feeling reconnected and reminded of our love for each other.  I know that is important to do in a marriage.  I also know that we will have the same result sitting on our sofa in front of the fireplace once the girls are in bed.  It doesn’t take much!

I am very fortunate for the life that I have and am especially aware of that this year.  I am so lucky to have a husband who loves me just the way I am.  I am the mother of 3 smart, sweet and beautiful daughters.  I have a supportive and loving family.  What else could a girl ask for?

…and then she was eight…

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

Today is Abigail’s eighth birthday.  It’s also my 12th wedding anniversary and my parents 50th….but that’s beside the point…

I can’t believe that the oldest of our three daughters is already eight.  She will be starting third grade in a mere week.  It seems like only yesterday that I was presented with my first child after 13 hours of labor.  What a moment.  I was crying with joy while my husband was overcome with love at first sight and the responsibility of another human being.  Some people swear that having children doesn’t change your life.  It sure has changed ours…

It has been wonderful.  The sound of my children laughing is the best sound on earth.  I love watching them when they make a new discovery or grasp a new concept.  I love their creativity.  If I had written down every imaginary conversation they had when they thought they weren’t being watched, I would be a best-selling author.  Some days are glorious.  Of course, there are also days that I’m ready to pull my hair out and evenings when all I want is to have a quiet dinner with Robert and times that I am frustrated to the point of insanity.  But having children has taught me a lot about myself.  More often than I’d like to admit, I’m not as patient as I need to be.  I love kid’s movies…Finding Nemo and Over the Hedge still make me laugh every time.  I can make a righteous birthday cake and an equally fabulous Halloween costume.  I can calm a screeching two year old in less than a minute. I know the value of a trustworthy babysitter…but I still can’t make the two and a half hours between snack time and dinner time go by any faster…

For the first eight years, I have tended to Abigail’s every need, solved as many of her problems as I could and butted heads with her often.  I’m no idiot – I know the head butting will continue!  But I also know that she is entering a new phase of her life.  She is becoming more and more independent every day.  She knows people that I didn’t introduce her to.  She doesn’t need me to pick out her outfits in the morning. She has issues at school that I can’t deal with for her. I can’t solve the quarrels between her and her friends.  I can only be there for her to talk to and hope that she still wants to talk to me at all after the age of 12!  By now though, she knows how to be polite, how to consider others’ feelings, how to work the DVD player, how to call home if she needs me and how to follow our “house rules”.  She went down a huge, fast, twisty water slide for the first time a couple of weeks ago like she had done it a million times before.  She is still a child but she is no longer a little kid.

I am good at little kids.  I am a pro when it comes to babies.  I can manage 3 kids ages 5 and under with one hand tied behind my back.  But an eight year old?  Only time will tell….