Anna Kate Donovan

I have just bid my husband adieu as he heads out the door on a four day whirlwind tour of the southeast.  The purpose, you might ask?  Two very promising job interviews.  Finally!

Robert just completed a year back at Auburn University to finish the degree he started 15 years ago.  After graduating (cum laude, I might add) in August, his part time job search quickly became all encompassing.  It has been a roller coaster of emotion.  Waiting for the phone to ring or email to ding.  Watching the job postings dwindle as the economy continues to suffer.  Listening to Robert report on yet another phone call with someone who thinks he’s great but doesn’t have the money to hire him right now.

Frustrating does not begin to cover how we feel.  For me, I know that Robert can do anything if given the chance.  He has been successful with everything he’s ever done.  But with most companies requiring an online application just to get a phone call, it is very difficult to separate yourself from the masses of other applicants.  Last summer, Robert couldn’t get past the online stage because he never finished his degree and could not check the degree box.  Automatic elimination quickly ensued.  I understand that companies have their pick of the litter these days but I think they are missing out on a whole group of highly talented and capable candidates just because they don’t perfectly fill the cookie cutter.  Now that Robert can “check the degree box”, no one is hiring.  It seems that the job market is all about who you know.  What happens when everyone you know is just trying to keep their own head above water?

Enough time on the soap box.  We are down to our last month of job searching.  Robert has these 2 interviews and we have a back-up plan. I know in my heart that everything happens for a reason.  I believe that we have been through this trial on purpose.  We have discovered more about ourselves and each other and grown closer as a family.  We have learned who our true friends are and how fortunate we are to have them.  But we are tired.  Limbo is an exhausting place to be.

As our Uncle Will says, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”  My alarm is ringing…time to get up!

I just wanted to post a link to my husband’s blog entry about social networking…interesting…

“The real impact of social networking while at work”

Have a good one!

I’ve always thought that “gamers” were people who played Dungeons and Dragons or belonged to role-playing clubs.  Now I’m not so sure.

I’ve always loved games.  I played card games with my parents from an early age.  Puzzles and board games too.  As I’ve gotten older, I have started enjoying crosswords, logic puzzles, sudoku, etc.  Almost every evening after the girls are in bed, I collapse on the sofa with the dog and my laptop and start my daily fix of “puzzling”.  That would usually include a couple of online crosswords and sudoku.  Perfectly harmless, right?

When Abigail started kindergarten a few years ago, she began learning about computers in school.  We decided that she deserved to have supervised computer time at home as well.  We let her have 30 minutes each day once any homework was finished and we found a number of good sites for her to choose from.  Now that Hattie has begun school, she has 30 minutes each day as well.

The girls tend to play dress-up, make-up and cooking games.  Abigail is starting to enjoy less juvenile games like the original Mario, etc.  A couple of weeks ago, she discovered a game called Woobies.  The point is to “rescue” some furry little creatures before they are crushed.  It sounds barbaric but it couldn’t be more innocent.  Unfortunately, she showed it to me and I tried it.

I am shamelessly hooked.  I can’t wait to get done with whatever I’m doing so I can have a few moments to play another level on my laptop.  Plus I can’t seem to win so that adds fuel to the fire. In my defense, all of my books, sewing and scrap booking supplies are in boxes in the mini warehouse for a few more months.  All of my hobbies are packed away leaving me only the laptop to occupy idle time.

Then a few days ago, a friend recommended the game “Typing Maniac” on Facebook. I’ve never been a highly competitve person but this has opened the flood gates.

I guess I’ve answered my own question.  I have become a gamer.  Is that bad?  😉

Snakes and I do not get along.  I’m not ashamed to say it.  Poisonous or not, it doesn’t matter.  I don’t like them at all.

For the most part, I am an animal lover.  Dogs.  Cats.  Cows.  Anything that would live in a barn.  Birds.  Rabbits, squirrels and chipmunks.  Lizards.  Frogs and turtles.  Everything but snakes.  I do love the snake in the Jungle Book but somehow I don’t think that counts.

I’ve had a few good experiences with snakes but that still hasn’t changed my mind.

When I was in junior high, I volunteered at a now-defunct children’s museum.  It was hands on and we had a lot of animals.  I went through the extra training so I could get the animals out for visitors to touch.  We had an opossum named Sassafras, a hedgehog, a tarantula and an iguana.  We also had Sneakers, the snake.  I got that snake out all the time.  I don’t know how but I held that snake at least twice a week without breaking a sweat.  Then again, Sneakers had never bitten anyone that we knew of.  Maybe that was enough to calm my fears.

The next close encounter was just a few summers ago.  I was pregnant with my 3rd child and I had planted a huge bed of impatiens and hosta in our back yard.  Every morning around 7, I would go out to water the flowers and have a few moments of quiet before everyone else got up.  Of course we had a snake that took up residence in that flower bed.  I can’t say that I blamed it.  It was cool and damp and stayed shady most of the day.  Ideal snake grounds.  The girls named it Sally (they named every living thing in our yard Sally that summer).  Sally and I had an agreement.  She knew that every morning I was going to water the flowers.  If she didn’t want to get wet, she needed to move.  I agreed not to shriek in terror or beat her with the hose as long as I knew where she was.  Over the course of the summer, Sally tripled in length and girth and seemed to be content.  I was almost happy with the snake.  Maybe those pregnancy hormones were kicking in.  I felt good that I had provided a happy home for another living thing.

Despite these good experiences, I still freaked out a little yesterday at the sight of a 4 – 5 foot black snake near the sidewalk.  It made my skin crawl.  Yuck.  I don’t have anything against snakes.  I know they will leave me alone.  But that doesn’t mean I have to like them….

Robert doesn’t help either.  I walked in the door from the bus stop this morning (after giving myself a headache watching for that stupid black snake all the way home) and Robert announces from our screened porch that he just saw a water moccasin swimming in the lake behind our apartment in the same spot where we feed the ducks.

Oh, hiss….

Don’t recognize the name?  Martin Handford is the creator of the ever-popular Where’s Waldo? series.  These books are fabulous.  If you don’t know about Where’s Waldo?, it is a series of books about a world traveler.  In each two page scene, the reader must find Waldo and a bevy of other items.  In one book you are looking for Waldo, his entourage of friends and his dog.  In another, you are looking for a tiny book Waldo has dropped.  In another, you must find all of Waldo’s equipment that he has lost.  Each scene is meticulously drawn and has thousands of minute details.

The beauty of these books is in the target demographics.  They are great for everyone.  Laura (2) loves to find all the mermaids in the underwater scenes.  Hattie (5) looks for Waldo and moves on.  Abigail (8) wants to find everything on the list of things you are supposed to find.  Robert and I find enjoyment in all of the crazy things Handford has included in the drawing.

It seems that it is getting more and more difficult to find activities that everyone enjoys.  Especially on a rainy day when we can’t go outside.  The chances of all 5 of us wanting to watch the same movie or play the same game together aren’t great.  With 2 of our children unable to read fluently, our options are limited even further.  Where’s Waldo? bridges the gap.  There is no reading required but you still have to use your brain.

I have loved these books since they came out in the early 1990s.  There is also a series of I Spy books that are similar but they lack the story that goes along with Waldo and his travels.  Every time you look at a Waldo book, you will find things you’ve never seen before even if this is the 100th trip through the book.  This is one of the few things that will stay on our shelves as other toys and books come and go.  A rare find indeed!

There are a lot of things I wish I could do well.  One of them is to play tennis.  Every year, I watch the grand slam events almost obsessively.  This obsession started in high school.  Two of my best friends are great tennis players and I loved to watch them play.

Currently, I am watching the US Open.  I just watched Melanie Oudin lose to Caroline Wozniacki.  The talent of these teenagers is nothing short of awesome.  They are unbelievably good and between the two of them, they have taken out many of the top seeded players in the first week of the tournament.

The only other sport I watch this intently is college football.  Alabama football to be exact.  But I have absolutely no desire to play football.  Tennis, on the other hand, looks fun.  I think I might be able to play doubles if I were a little more flexible.  And coordinated.  And quick on my feet.  And in shape.  And owned a racket….

For now, I am happy to live vicariously through my television as I watch athletes half my age duke it out on center court.  What’s my excuse?  I have 3 little girls age 8 and under.  That’s got to be harder than tennis!

If you read my earlier post “What was I thinking?” you know that I do not like arcades.  They are loud, chaotic and stressful for me.  I don’t have an explanation why it stresses me out, it just does.  I don’t like letting my kids run around like wild animals in public either so that makes it worse.  Plus, my two children under age 6 need to be accompanied so I have no choice but to enter the den of chaos.

I know the reason for putting an arcade in a family restaurant.  The kids pump quarters in the machines ad nauseum while the parents eat their dinner.  It is a stellar idea.

SO, one time when Robert was out of town (of course he was – these things only happen when he is out of town), Hattie was invited to a birthday party at the big pizza place in town.  The arcade at this particular pizza place doubles as the party room.  Yippee!  With Robert gone, I attended the party with all three girls in tow.  We got there and greeted the birthday boy and were immediately seated for our pizza dinner.

I have never seen children gobble down pepperoni so fast.  Even Hattie, who takes a half hour to eat a spoonful of rice one grain at a time, finished her pizza at a Guinness record pace.  Within minutes, all of the children have choked down their dinner and are chomping at the bit to get their tokens and hit the slots.  Abigail is old enough to be on her own so I gave her some tokens and she headed off.  Hattie is still a little uncoordinated and can’t read yet so she needs my help.  Laura just wants to run from game to game and screech.  Yea!

Hattie made her first game choice and was able to manage it with minimal instruction.  I set off to pull Laura away from dominating the driving game and I hear Hattie yell “Mom, I WON!”  Laura and I go dashing over to Hattie and sure enough, she has hit the jackpot.  I am watching the game tally the score when I realize that Hattie is already on to game #2.  The first game starts spitting out tickets and I hear “Mom, I WON AGAIN!”  I turn to see that game start churning out tickets and Hattie is running to the 3rd game.  But the 1st game is still barfing out tickets in a pile at my feet!  And, oh no, WHERE IS LAURA???

Luckily, this arcade is designed so that the door back into the restaurant is not easily noticed by toddlers so Laura was not far.  Also, lucky for me, this was a birthday party with lots of moms.  It only took one look at my harried face for other moms at the party to come to my rescue.

In the end, Abigail won 48 tickets.  With those she “bought” 3 pieces of gum and a neon eraser.  Hattie, the uncoordinated child, won 576 tickets in less than 30 minutes.  She bought 5 pieces of candy and a parachuting Dora that promptly broke in the car on the way home.  Gotta love it….

I don’t get Bratz.  I don’t understand why people buy these dolls for their daughters.  Why would you want to idolize the epitome of what we don’t want our children to become?  Or am I the only one who doesn’t want her daughters to be spoiled brats in inappropriate outfits?

Barbies and Polly Pockets don’t bother me.  Does that make me a hypocrite?  Maybe.  My girls have a lot of both Barbies and Pollies.  That being said, we do not purchase all of the clothes and accessories that are available for these dolls.  If my girls want a house for their dolls, they have to build one out of Legos or shoe boxes or use the dollhouse that my parents built for me when I was 5.  I certainly don’t buy any of the outfits that look like they belong in a strip club…and believe me, I could if I wanted to!

When Abigail started 1st grade I was forced to accept that things aren’t the same now as they were when I was in 1st grade.  When I was seven I paid no attention whatsoever to what my friends were wearing.  Okay, that’s a lie.  I secretly coveted my best friend’s purple New Edition t-shirt.  But that’s it.  I had no idea about brands or fashions or the cost of clothes and neither did anyone else in my class.  It wasn’t an issue until I was in the 6th grade.  Even then it was forced on me by other girls in my school.  Looking back, it was wonderful to be truly innocent during elementary school.  I had plenty to occupy my mind just being a child.  Now stores are selling low rise jeans and skimpy panties for elementary aged girls.  Many stores don’t even offer “regular” children’s clothes.  It’s all just the junior department in tiny sizes.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not suggesting that children can’t be fashion forward or that they should wear smocked dresses or sweatpants every day.  I just don’t think they should be dressed like tiny adults.  I also don’t want my daughters to dress in an overtly sexual way at age 16 much less at age 8.  Am I the only one who thinks that these trends are sending the wrong messages?  Then there are the moms who try to hold on to their youth by dressing like 18 year olds.  As my favorite duo, Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear say, “18 year olds always win!”  But I digress….

I don’t think parents realize what they are setting themselves up for.  Little girls should have the chance to be little girls.  There is no reason to make age 13 come any quicker than it already does.  It will come fast enough!

My mother-in-law gave me a great book for Christmas about raising girls in the current era of advertising.  I will admit that I haven’t finished the book but what I have read so far intrigues me.  As parents in 2009, we face a whole new set of challenges that didn’t even exist when we were children.  There are entire marketing campaigns targeting young children.  If you’ve ever watched Saturday morning cartoons (there aren’t that many to choose from these days!) with your children, you have probably noticed that the majority of the air time is dominated by commercials.  Commercials for crap.  “All you ever wanted in its own storage tub for $19.99!  Call now and we’ll double your order!”  Great.  Double crap.  Fabulous!!

I know I’ve written a lot lately about my ideals of raising children – girls in particular.  Please do not get the wrong idea.  I am merely expressing my thoughts.  I am not going to judge you if you don’t agree with me.  This is my opinion, nothing more.  I am not a nominee for mother-of-the-year and I never will be.  I make a lot of mistakes.  We all do.  But it’s my job to give my children the best chance to succeed in life.  And I don’t think missing the Bratz boat will hurt them one little bit!

Robert and I have been together 14 years.  For the vast majority of those years, Robert has had a goatee.  He was clean-shaven when we started dating but within 6 months he had grown out the goatee and it became a permanent fixture on his face.

Every 5 years or so, Robert goes through the “should I shave my goatee or not” debate.  The last time he shaved was just over 6 years ago.  We were vacationing in the Caribbean and he appeared at breakfast with no goatee.  It freaked me out.  I kept staring at him.  He didn’t look like my husband.  He looked weird.  Of course, after a couple of days, I became used to it and I no longer felt the need to stare.

Robert’s clean-shaven look never lasts very long.  He gets flustered with having to shave every single day and eventually he lets it go over the weekend…and a few more days after that…and then trims it into his regular goatee.

I like the goatee.  It balances his face and makes him look distinguished.  It makes him look like the Robert I love.  I’m not saying that I love him less without the goatee…I just don’t see a need to mess with something that works.  I wish I had the same problem with my hair….

Robert has been mumbling about shaving his goatee again for the last couple of weeks.  He even posted a couple of photos on Flickr asking fellow photographers to share their opinions.  What will be the outcome of the “shave/don’t shave” debate this time?  I have no idea…

Those of you who know me and those of you who have read my blog know that we moved a few weeks ago.  We moved from a brand new townhouse with lots of bells and whistles to an apartment nearby.  The apartment is 15 – 20 years old with no bells and fewer whistles.  Somehow, we are much happier.

Here we are surrounded by mature trees and landscaping.  Our apartment has a small screened in porch that overlooks a  lake full of turtles, fish and ducks.  Two thirds of the girls toys are in storage and they don’t even seem to notice.  The squirrels eat their acorns right outside our porch window and the tree frogs sing at night.  The cows from the neighboring farm even moo at us while we’re waiting for the bus!  We moved away from a bevy of little girls in our old neighborhood.  The only children we’ve met here the boys that ride the same school bus as Abigail yet, the girls are happier.

My parents came to visit for the day yesterday.  We spent most of the day outside by the lake.  We watched the turtles and squirrels, fed the ducks and collected nuts and pine cones.  Robert fished a little and didn’t catch anything.  Abigail dug a hole and Hattie filled it with acorns from a sawtooth oak.  We sat in the sun and then in the shade and just spent time enjoying being outside.  It was wonderful.

I was worried when we left the old neighborhood and moved to this apartment that the girls would have a hard time.  Boy was I wrong!  Abigail and Hattie have both expressed their love for our new place and how much they love the surroundings.  Who knew?

It seems that so many people spend their entire lives rushing from one place to another.  How exhausting!  My point is that it is important to be able to just enjoy life.  Children don’t have to have a planned activity every day.  They have such brilliant imaginations and they deserve the chance to use them.  We adults should learn from our children and take a moment to really enjoy the simple things….